I have a confession to make. Social media has had multiple, random videos of people who are color blind getting special glasses that allow them to see colors for the first time. They usually come wrapped as a gift, a surprise, and the unsuspecting recipient is cautious, sceptical and then, the magic happens. They place the glasses on and start to see colors they have never seen before. They are overwhelmed, absolutely undone. I watch the videos at least twice and I cry every time. There is something so tender about seeing the wonder of a person’s new vision and that sacred moment being captured. I get equally overwhelmed of videos of deaf babies hearing their parents voice for the first time after receiving cochlear implants. It is visceral, the joy comes from a deep place.
Can you imagine? Can you imagine the wonder? I think we all can. I think we were all created for such new eyes and new ears. Part of me, if I’m honest, might even feel a tinge of melancholy. It is as if I’ve longed for such a moment (and in moment, I mean light switch/fast) where some type of radical transformation happens. Maybe, if I sit with this a little longer, I’m reminded that I, too, have new eyes and new ears, and these videos spark a deep remembrance of that fact.
I will tell you though, that my new technicolor vision and exquisite hearing have not been instantaneous. Someone dear to me described recovery like a slow unfolding. Like they had been folded over and over and were so tightly bound, and recovery began the process of unfolding, crease by crease. Yes. Slowly. New eyes, new ears.
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to renew our conscious contact with God, praying only for His will for us and the power to carry it out. Contemplative prayer and meditation are a crucial part of that unfolding. A different type of prayer than I was taught in Christian discipleship (the A.C.T.S. acronym and others) I’ve come to realize that most of my life, my prayers were simply verbalizations of my own anxieties and wishes. My prayers were me simply playing God and telling him what to do, what needed to be done, who needed changing and how. It is painful to say it, but oh, how true.
My recovery journey has been an unfolding. God’s non-intrusive way of giving me new eyes and new ears. It isn’t quick, like putting on new glasses, but I am more aware of my newness every moment that I’m more present. And that awareness is deepened by my time in meditation and contemplative prayer. I see it in my recovery friends also. Suddenly, I’m aware that they are not the same person they were when they walked through the door, months or years before. Their newness, my newness, is cause for deep joy.
Mercy Street will meet this Saturday, August 11th at 5:30pm at Lakeland Community Church. We will continue with Step 11. Childcare will be provided.
UPCOMING EVENTS
August 11 – Silent Saturday at Sanctuary of Hope. Check in at 9:00 am. Silence from 9:15 – 11:30am. There will be five 20 minute periods of centering prayer with breaks in between. Suggested donation is $10. For more information click here.
August 24-25 – Enneagram workshop with Suzanne Stabile at Community Christian Church. Link to register here.
August 25th – The National Eating Disorders Awareness (“NEDA”) walk will take place from 8-10am. More information here.
Breathing Underwater: A Spiritual Study of the Twelve Steps
The Center for Action and Contemplation will be hosting an online course based on Richard Rohr’s book, Breathing Underwater. Registration closes on August 14, 2018. The course runs from August 22 – October 17. Cost is $120. Fore more detailed information, click the link above.
If you have questions please contact mercystreetkc (at) gmail.com Your information will always be kept confidential.
Mercy Street 